


I'm Not Alone ('Cause You're Here With Me)

by doctornineandthreequarters



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, First Kiss, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Soft Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28112571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornineandthreequarters/pseuds/doctornineandthreequarters
Summary: Buck had a plan. A really good plan. A genius plan, if he did say so himself. And that plan involved telling his best friend he was in love with him.---Or, Buck decides that Christmas is the perfect time to tell Eddie how he feels.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz & Carla Price, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 41
Kudos: 227
Collections: 911 Gift Exchange 2020





	I'm Not Alone ('Cause You're Here With Me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [smartbuckley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartbuckley/gifts).



> Hi friend! I'm your 9-1-1 gift exchange secret santa! Well, technically, I'm a pinch hitter. But details, right? I hope you like the story! I super enjoyed writing it :D

Buck had a plan. A really good plan. A genius plan, if he did say so himself. And that plan involved telling his best friend he was in love with him. 

He wasn’t sure when he realized he was in love with Eddie. Maybe it was when Eddie was buried under forty feet of mud. Maybe it was when Eddie showed up at his apartment after the tsunami. Maybe it was during one of their many graveyard shifts when they just found themselves sitting up talking because sleep was evading them. Or maybe it just gradually happened over time until Buck realized one day he was head over heels in love with his best friend. 

No matter how it happened, it had happened. Buck was in love with Eddie. And he wanted to tell him during Christmas. There was just one problem; Buck didn’t want to intrude on whatever Eddie was planning for Christmas. 

Luckily, Buck had fate and a very adorable kid on his side. 

“Hey Buck.” Buck looked up from the pot he was stirring. Christopher was sitting at the kitchen table as he worked on homework. Eddie was sitting across from him, there to offer assistance to either other person in the kitchen if they needed it. “What are you doing for Christmas?”

“Oh,” Buck said, putting the spoon down on a paper towel (because he was making a sauce and he wasn’t going to destroy Eddie’s kitchen in the process). “Well my sister and I are having brunch on Christmas morning.” Christopher tilted his head, his brow furrowing at that. Even Eddie looked a little confused. “What about you guys?”

“Dad and I are just having Christmas together,” Christopher said, smiling at Eddie. Eddie smiled back at him and Buck felt his heart beat a little faster. Eddie’s smile never failed to warm him to his core, even if that smile wasn’t directed at him. He just liked seeing Eddie happy. Then again, he liked pretty much everything about Eddie.

“You guys aren’t going to Texas?” Buck asked and Eddie shook his head. 

“I have a shift on the 26th,” Eddie said. “Abuela and Pepa are going and they offered to take Chris.”

“But I don’t want to celebrate Christmas without my dad.” Eddie’s smile grew at that. “Because no one should spend Christmas alone.” Buck nodded a little, turning back to the sauce. He agreed, but even though Christopher had just told him that it was just the two of them for Christmas, Buck still didn’t want to intrude. Even though the idea of spending Christmas with Eddie and Christopher sounded perfect to Buck. 

As he went back to finishing the sauce, he could hear a chair moving across the floor and Eddie and Christopher whispering. He didn’t turn back around, figuring they were whispering for a reason. 

“Alright,” Buck said, finally turning back to face them. Christopher and Eddie were wearing matching grins and Buck raised an eyebrow. “Dinner’s all set.”

“Great,” Eddie said. “Christopher can put his homework away while we set the table.”

“But first,” Christopher said, his grin so bright it could light up a dark room. “Dad and I want to ask you something.” Buck just nodded as Christopher glanced at his dad. 

“Go on, mijo.” Christopher walked over to Buck and Buck squatted down so that he was at eye-level with the boy. 

“Do you want to spend Christmas with us?” Buck’s eyebrows kissed his hairline in surprise and he glanced between Eddie and Christopher.

“You...you guys want me to spend Christmas with you?” Buck asked and Christopher nodded, a big grin still on his face. 

“Well you’re the best Buck,” Christopher said. “And no one should spend Christmas alone.” Buck just stared at him, unsure what to say. How lucky was he that right as he wanted to confess his feelings to Eddie, that opportunity was presenting itself to him. But he was also still unsure. It still felt like he’d be intruding. 

Eddie must’ve sensed something, because he cleared his throat and walked over to Christopher.

“Why don’t you put your homework away and we can start setting the table?” Christopher nodded and headed to the table, grabbing his book, before leaving the room. Once he was gone, Eddie glanced at Buck. “You okay?”

“Just a little surprised,” Buck said, standing up straight. “Are you...are you guys sure?” Eddie just smiled and chuckled. 

“Yeah Buck,” Eddie said. “I’m sure. He’s right, no one should be alone on Christmas. And we both want you here.” Buck smiled a little at that. “So, what do you say?” Eddie was watching him with a smile and a soft look in his eyes, that went straight to Buck’s heart. He was about to respond, when Christopher came back into the room. Buck walked over to the boy and scooped him up.

“Well?” The boy asked, looking between Eddie and Buck. 

“I was just about to tell your dad that I would love to spend Christmas with you two.” Christopher cheered, before throwing his arms around Buck’s neck to hug him. Buck hugged him back, a smile on his face. And as he glanced over at Eddie, who was still smiling watching them, Buck knew he could start to put his plan in place.

* * *

Eddie could tell Buck was up to something. The blonde had been pretty attached to his phone lately, always looking at something. But he would immediately put his phone away whenever Eddie sat next to him. Eddie assumed Buck was getting something for Christopher, something big and expensive that if Buck asked him, Eddie would probably tell him no (even though Eddie secretly thought it was sweet how much Buck liked to spoil Christopher).

“So, I hear Buck is spending Christmas with you and Christopher.” The blonde in question was currently across the loft, having a very quiet and private conversation on his phone. The question had come from Bobby, who was watching Eddie while he worked on lunch. 

“Uh yeah,” Eddie said. “Buck wasn’t doing anything Christmas Eve since Maddie’s spending it with Chimney and his family.” Bobby nodded. “And when he told us that, Christopher wanted to invite him.”

“So, it was your son’s idea?” Eddie shrugged. “You wouldn’t have suggested it if Christopher hadn’t first?”

“Probably,” Eddie said with another shrug. “No one should be alone on Christmas.” Bobby nodded, simply studying Eddie as he did. Eddie tried not to fidget with his hands as Bobby stared at him. Bobby was excellent at schooling his features to the point that sometimes Eddie didn’t know what was going on in his captain’s head, couldn’t read anything off his face. So, if Bobby was thinking anything in particular, Eddie didn’t know what. 

“I spent a lot of Christmases alone,” Bobby said. “Up until Athena and I started seeing each other. And even though I see Christmas more for the religious aspect, there is something to be said about the magic of the season.” Eddie raised an eyebrow at that and Bobby chuckled. “I’m just saying, if anything between anyone were to change, Christmas would be a pretty okay time to do that.” Eddie felt a blush creep up his neck and Bobby just smiled knowingly. Eddie was about to say something when Bobby’s radio made a sound. 

“ _Hey Captain Nash, the storage closet is out of bandages_.”

“Just a second, Anderson.” Bobby set the knife down he had been cutting with and spared one more glance at Eddie before heading downstairs. Eddie just let out a long sigh as soon as he was gone. 

Eddie also thought he was pretty good at schooling his own features, at not letting his feelings shine through. But clearly, he wasn’t that good, if Bobby could pick up on his feelings for Buck. Because yes, he had feelings for his best friend. Romantic, all-encompassing feelings that both thrilled him and freaked him out. Because Buck was probably the best friend he ever had and also his kid adored him, so crossing that line meant the possibility of things going as colossally wrong as they had with Shannon and Eddie didn’t think he could put himself or Christopher through that again. 

His eyes fell on Buck, who was still talking quietly on his phone. Buck turned his head and caught Eddie’s eye, sending him a smile in response before turning away. And it was ridiculous how just a smile from Buck could make him want to melt into a puddle of happiness and yet it did. And while he wanted nothing more to confess his feelings, there was so much to take into consideration. For starters, he didn’t even know if Buck reciprocated those feelings. And even if he did, were they really both ready for something like that? For crossing that line of friendship into something else?

But maybe Bobby was right. Maybe he needed a little Christmas magic to get the courage he needed to talk to Buck and tell him how he really felt.

* * *

Eddie sighed as he walked into the house. It had been a long shift, but it was worth it knowing he had the next forty eight hours off. And if planned to spend most of that time with his son and Buck, well that was his business (even though everyone at the firehouse knew and he had seen Chimney and Hen whispering while watching him at one point). 

“Dad!” He smiled as he walked into the dining room, spotting Christopher working on something. He walked over to his son and pressed a kiss to his head. He ruffled his son’s hair before heading into the kitchen. 

“Happy Christmas Eve eve,” Carla said, when he walked in. He chuckled and nodded. “You know, that son of yours hasn’t stopped talking about Christmas.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty excited this year.” Carla gave him a look and Eddie just decided to play dumb. She scoffed and shook her head. 

“And would his excitement have to do with a certain someone spending the holiday with you?” Eddie shrugged and Carla shook her head, a fond smile on her face. “Hopefully, you two figure it out during all of this because I cannot take anymore of the looks.”

“I...is it that obvious?” Carla nodded and Eddie sighed. 

“It’s not a bad thing,” Carla said. “Both of you deserve to be happy. Besides, I’ve known that boy a long time and he has never lit as much as he does when you walk into a room.”

“Do you always meddle?” Eddie asked and Carla chuckled. 

“Only to people who are important to me,” She said, grabbing her bag. “Merry Christmas, Eddie.”

“You too Carla.” She smiled before heading out of the room. He briefly heard her saying goodbye to Christopher before he heard the door open and close. He leaned against the counter, thinking about what she had said. Eddie did want to be happy. And he was always happy when Buck was around (okay maybe not always, Buck drove him a little crazy, but that craziness was worth it for his 100 watt smile and those blue eyes). And hearing Carla, who knew Buck better than most people, say that Buck lit up when Eddie was around, well that was important information. To Eddie, that meant that maybe, just maybe, Buck could have the same feelings that he did. 

“Dad?” He looked up, seeing Christopher enter the room. Eddie went over to his son, scooping him up. He pressed another kiss to his son’s head, the boy smiling at that. 

“What’s up, kid?”

“When is Buck coming?” Christopher asked. “He’s supposed to celebrate Christmas with us.”

“Christmas starts tomorrow,” Eddie pointed out. Christopher pouted at that. “Mijo, he’s spending all day with us tomorrow.”

“But he could spend today and tomorrow with us,” Christopher said. Christopher jutted his lip even further and looked up at him with wide eyes. Eddie was pretty sure Christopher had learned those damn puppy-dog eyes from Buck. Eddie was also certain that he couldn’t say no to his son when he was making that face. 

“Alright,” Eddie said, gently setting Christopher down on the kitchen counter. Christopher smiled victoriously as Eddie pulled his phone out of his pocket. He held his phone up, putting it on speaker, as it started to ring. 

“ _Hey Eds, what’s up_?” Buck asked, picking up on the first ring. 

“Hi Buck!” He heard Buck chuckle on the other end, making Eddie smile. 

“ _Superman, did you steal your dad’s phone to call me_?”

“He’s sneaky, but not that sneaky,” Eddie said, making his presence known. “And I was just curious what you were up to?”

“ _Still stuck in the car_ ,” Buck said. “ _I needed to talk to Bobby after our shift ended and then I got into a long conversation with Chimney about what he got Maddie and the baby for Christmas. And now, I’m stuck in traffic._ ”

“Well I’m glad I called you then,” Eddie said as Christopher just beamed at him. “Chris and I were wondering what you were doing for the rest of the day.”

“ _Oh._ ” Eddie chuckled. “ _Nothing really_.”

“Well then, how about we start the Christmas festivities early,” Eddie suggested. “You can come over now instead of tomorrow.” He heard Buck hum on the other line and Christopher just stared back and forth between the phone and Eddie. 

“ _I mean, I still have to run to my apartment_ ,” Buck said. “ _But sure, I can come by earlier_.” Christopher clapped his hands in excitement and Eddie heard Buck chuckle. “ _Hopefully this traffic clears up and I can get there sooner rather than later_.”

“No rush,” Eddie said. “We’ll see you soon.” And then Eddie ended the call. Christopher just smiled at him and Eddie couldn’t help but smile back, brushing some of his son’s hair out of his face. “Good call, kid.”

“Everyone always says I’m really smart.” Eddie chuckled as he picked Christopher up and set him down on the ground. “Hey Dad? I’m really excited for Christmas.” Eddie smiled and ruffled his son’s hair. 

“Me too, kid. Me too.”

* * *

Buck sighed as he made his way to the door of Eddie’s house, carrying several bags and a duffel bag. Getting home had taken far longer than he had expected. Getting everything he needed from his apartment hadn’t taken too long, but then he had needed to make a stop or two. So, it had been almost two hours since he had spoken to Eddie. He paused at the door, pushing past the slight exhaustion and frustration. 

This was going to be perfect. It had to be, if Buck was going to finally tell Eddie how he felt. 

“Diaz boys!” Buck hollered once he had opened the door. He heard a shout, that sounded somewhat like Christopher’s voice and then the tell-tale sounds of his crutches. 

“Buck!” Buck put his bags down and squatted down just as Christopher made his way over to him. Christopher threw his arms around Buck and Buck smiled, hugging the boy back. He glanced up and saw Eddie, watching the two of them with a fond smile on his face. Buck tucked his head into Christopher’s curls, trying to hide the blush that was creeping up his cheeks. Christopher just giggled, hugging Buck a little tighter. 

“Dad was worried that something happened,” Christopher said, once Buck pulled away. Buck raised an eyebrow and glanced at Eddie, who had an embarrassed look on his face. 

“Nah, just traffic,” Buck said, standing up. “Plus, I had to stop at the grocery store for some stuff.” He glanced at the bags before picking them up. 

“And what did you get?” Eddie asked, walking over to Buck. Buck just smirked and Eddie gave him a look. “Should I be worried?”

“Well, you’re not cooking, so no.” Eddie huffed at that. “Oh please, you love it when I cook.”

“I know I do,” Christopher said and Buck smirked as they all headed into the kitchen. Buck and Eddie began unloading the bags as Christopher sat at the table. Buck could see Eddie trying to figure out what all the ingredients were for, but there were so many and it was clear he was confused.

“Are you planning on making a feast?” Eddie asked and Buck chuckled. 

“Not all of it’s for tomorrow,” Buck said. “Some of it’s for today.” Eddie raised an eyebrow and Buck turned towards Christopher. “Superman, how would you feel about making cookies for Santa?” Christopher’s eyes widened and he nodded. “Great! Let’s get started.”

They fell into a comfortable silence as Buck finished putting the groceries away and started grabbing the items he needed to bake. He could feel Eddie watching him and Buck just tried to be as calm and cool as possible. Now was not the time to turn into a bumbling mess over how Eddie looked at him. There would be plenty of time for that later. 

For now, they had cookies to bake.

* * *

It had struck Eddie that Buck was comfortable in his house. Other than the obvious, of Buck having a key and never having to knock when he came in, there were other glaringly obvious signs. Like the fact that Buck knew where everything was in his kitchen. And not just the obvious things, like plates and bowls. He knew where Eddie kept the mixer that Adriana bought for him that he never used. 

In fact, Buck knew where pretty much everything was in his house. They were now on the couch, cookies in the oven and a Christmas movie on the TV. Right as they had gotten settled, Christopher had shivered a little and Buck had disappeared, returning with the best blankets from the linen closet. He not only knew where the closet was, but also where Eddie kept the best choice of blankets. He knew the house so well and that made Eddie’s heart beat a little faster and a smile spread across his face. 

It made him feel like Buck belonged there. In his house. With him and Christopher. And that thought both scared and thrilled him. He glanced over at Buck, who was focused on the movie. He thought about what Carla had said earlier. His happiness had been clear from the moment he had walked in earlier. It was clear as Buck moved around the kitchen with ease, singing Christmas carols as Christopher giggled and Eddie chuckled. That happiness was clear now, as Buck’s hand gently ran through Christopher’s hair, as the boy dozed off against his side.

Buck belonged there. And it made Eddie want to close the distance between them and kiss him. 

“Eddie?” He was brought out of his thoughts by Buck, who was staring at him now, his head tilted in confusion. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, a small smile on his face. “But uh, looks like Christopher is wiped.” Buck glanced down at the boy and smiled. “I should probably get him into bed.” Eddie stood up and Buck followed suit, scooping Christopher up as he did. Buck gently passed Christopher to, his hand brushing Eddie’s as he did. Eddie’s ears heated up and he gently adjusted Christopher in his arms. He stared at Buck, almost unable to move. 

“I should uh, check on the cookies.” Eddie nodded and swallowed. He quickly turned and headed down to Christopher’s room. Luckily, he had the parental instinct to have Christopher change before they started to movie, so all he had to do was tuck his son in. 

“Love you kid,” Eddie whispered, as he removed Christopher’s glasses. He gently placed them on the bedside table and then pressed a gentle kiss to his son’s head. He then got up and walked over to the door. After turning the light off, he just observed his son for a moment.

Some of his reticence over telling Buck how he felt had to do with Christopher. His son didn’t deserve to lose anyone else. He had already lost time with Eddie when he had been overseas. And they had both lost Shannon. So if he did confess how he felt to Buck and then things went wrong, that would be another person Christopher would lose. And he didn’t want to do that to his son. 

But then there was a part of him that knew that no matter what could happen between them, Buck would never push Christopher away. It was clear to Eddie that Buck loved his son, it was one of the things that made Eddie fall for him. So that reticence, like most of his excuses, was flimsy at best. He pushed off the wall and pulled the door shut, leaving it open just a crack. Christopher hadn’t had any nightmares in almost a year, but Eddie still left the door open just a little, just in case. He sighed to himself before making his way down the hallway. He stopped in the living room to turn the tv off before continuing into the kitchen. 

Buck was standing in front of the oven, humming to himself as he put the cookies in Tupperware. Since Buck didn’t know he was there, Eddie took a moment to just watch him. He watched how Buck’s arms moved, a gentleness to his movements as he moved each cookie. Even though his back was to him, Eddie knew the look of concentration on Buck’s face. Eddie saw it pretty much every shift. Sometimes it was just an intensity to his eyes, other times his tongue poked out (which Eddie thought was stupidly adorable).

Eddie saw Buck closing the container and knew he was going to turn around. So, he cleared his throat, making his presence now. 

“Chris down?” Eddie just nodded as Buck opened the refrigerator, putting the cookies away. “Guess I should turn that couch into a bed.”

“I’ll grab you some pillows.” Eddie turned and headed to the linen closet, something feeling off about Buck sleeping on the couch. Buck had slept on the couch before, but tonight that just didn’t feel right. He grabbed a pillow and headed back towards the living room. He stopped and stared at Buck, really taking in the picture before him. 

The couch wasn’t that big. Sure, it could seat two adults and a kid comfortably, but it wasn’t meant for a grown man to sleep on. Especially someone as tall as Buck (because yes Buck was two inches taller than Eddie and yes Buck did hold that over Eddie’s head constantly).

“Buck,” Eddie said, getting Buck’s attention. “You don’t fit on the couch.”

“It’s fine,” Buck said, stretching out a little, his foot hitting the other side and then spilling over. “I’ve slept on it before.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s comfortable,” Eddie pointed out.

“Well you don’t have a guest room,” Buck said with a shrug. “So, it does the job. I mean, it has every other time.” Eddie’s lips twisted into a frown. “Eds, it’s fine.”

“I’m not making you sleep on that couch two nights in a row,” Eddie said. “It’s not fair to you or your back.”

“Don’t see any other options,” Buck said, getting up and walking over to Eddie. He got his hands on the pillow, just as Eddie spoke up. 

“There’s my bed.” Time seemed to stop as the words tumbled out of Eddie’s mouth. Buck glanced up at him, a shocked expression on his face. “You know it’s big enough and more comfortable than the couch.” Buck’s hand fell away from the pillow and Eddie saw the bob of his throat as he swallowed. 

“Are you...are you sure?” Eddie just nodded. “Um, yeah, sure.” Eddie turned and then headed towards his room, Buck’s footsteps following him. Now that he had a moment to think about it, he was terrified of the idea of sharing a bed with Buck. Because it didn’t feel platonic to him. It felt intimate, very intimate. And he wasn’t sure if now was the right time to cross that line from platonic to romantic. 

They both moved around the room, quietly getting ready for bed. The silence terrified Eddie. It made him want to run and hide. It made him think this was a bad idea. But then, as he looked at Buck for the first time since he walked into the room, he noticed how nervous Buck looked as well. Eddie let out a long before taking his normal side of the bed. He glanced at Buck and nodded slightly. 

Once they were both settled, lying down and both staring at the ceiling, Eddie spared a glance at Buck. He still had that nervous look on his face, like he wanted to run. And Eddie felt that way too. But he didn’t have to. So, he bumped Buck’s shoulder with his, earning a slight smirk from the blonde.

“Night Buck,” Eddie said, reaching over to switch the lamp off. 

“Night,” Buck said, his voice quieter than Eddie had ever heard. Eddie glanced back over at him, still able to make out all of his features in the dark (or maybe he just knew Buck’s features that well). “And Eddie? Thank you.” And Eddie just smiled before letting his eyes drift shut.

* * *

Buck sighed as he moved about the kitchen. He had forced himself out of the best sleep of his life (okay, maybe not his life, but definitely the best sleep in a long time), to start cooking. He hadn’t wanted to leave the bed, especially when he had woken up to find Eddie’s head resting on his shoulder. It was barely cuddling and yet it had Buck flushing head to toe with the thought of possibly cuddling with Eddie. 

Everything was starting to seem like a possibility, which meant Buck’s plan could definitely be set in motion. It started with the food he was cooking, a meal that he wanted to be perfect.

“You’re up early.” He turned his head to see Eddie walking into the room, his hair a mess and a hand running down his face. It was at that moment that Buck decided half-asleep Eddie was downright adorable and he wanted to kiss the sleepiness right off his face. But he didn’t. Because if all went according to plan, he’d be doing a lot of that later. 

“Coffee’s in the pot.” Eddie grunted out a thank you as he grabbed a mug and poured himself some coffee. “And I have to be if I’m going to get this all done in time.”

“What are you making?” Eddie asked, peering into the pan Buck was working on. 

“Tamales.” Eddie raised an eyebrow at that. “Specifically, your Abuela’s tamales.”

“She gave you her recipe?” Eddie asked, surprise on his face. Buck nodded. “She’s really protective of that. She won’t even share it with me or my sisters. Then again, we’re all terrible cooks so…”

“Um yeah,” Buck said, blushing a little. “She mentioned that. But I asked her and Pepa what you and Christopher would normally eat on Christmas Eve and she mentioned these. Then I asked her what might be the best way to make them, so you guys weren’t missing out and she just offered to teach me how to do it.”

“Oh.” Buck just nodded, suddenly afraid that he had overstepped. “That’s um...that’s really sweet of you. Christopher will love that.” Buck nodded, subtly breathing out a sigh of relief. “And I really appreciate it too.” Buck smiled a little. They fell into a comfortable silence, Eddie drinking his coffee and Buck working on the food. Buck glanced over Eddie and couldn’t help but blush as he noticed Eddie was watching him. He wanted to say something, maybe crack a joke or be flirty, but he found himself transfixed by the way Eddie watched him.

“Merry Christmas Eve!” The spell was broken by Christopher coming into the kitchen, a big grin on his face. Buck cleared his throat as he went back to what he was doing and Eddie tended to Christopher, discussing what they should have for breakfast. 

Buck sucked in a breath as he focused on the dish in front of him. He had a plan and damn it, he was going to follow that plan to the letter.

* * *

Eddie ran his hand through his son’s hair as the movie continued to play on the screen. Buck had basically planned out every part of their evening. He had made dinner (perfect tamales, if you asked Eddie) along with other foods Eddie and Christopher would’ve enjoyed had they gone to Texas. And then he had helped Christopher set out the cookies and milk for Santa, along with sampling their work (which again was delicious, but Eddie already knew Buck was a pretty darn good cook). And now they were all on the couch, watching Buck’s favorite Christmas movie, White Christmas. 

He glanced over at Buck, who was humming along to the music, a soft smile on his face. Buck had done all of this for him and Christopher. And it had made Eddie constantly have to fight the need to just throw caution to the wind and cross that damn line. Because Buck had truly gone out of his way to make this a nearly perfect Christmas and Eddie was too grateful for words. 

“I’m surprised you even know this movie,” Eddie said as Buck glanced away from the screen. “Mister ‘missing most pop culture references’.” Buck chuckled at that. 

“Yeah well, Maddie always loved this one,” Buck said. “We watched it every Christmas Eve, no matter what. And when I didn’t see her for awhile because of...well, you know, I made sure to keep up the tradition and watch it by myself. It’s a great movie and the music and dancing is pretty excellent too.”

“Do you think Maddie’s watching this right now?” Buck chuckled and shook his head. “No?”

“She goes to sleep early because of the baby,” Buck said. “Chimney says she complains about being tired all the time. So, she’s probably asleep right now.” His eyes fell on Christopher and he smiled. “Like someone else I know.” Eddie smiled as well. 

“Yeah, I should probably put him to bed,” Eddie said. “He’ll be up early anyways and I’ve still got to...you know.” Buck nodded. 

“Well, you better get a move on,” Buck said. “I hear Santa went overboard this year.” Eddie rolled his eyes before getting up, lifting Christopher as he did. Christopher’s head landed on his shoulder and Eddie pressed a kiss to his head.” He glanced at Buck, who was watching him with an adoring gaze that made Eddie want to blush but also kiss him. But neither of those happened. He simply smiled back at Buck before walking out of the room with Christopher.

* * *

Buck paced a little in his Eddie’s room. He was finally closing in on his moment, the moment he had been planning for. Now, he just had to make sure he didn’t lose his nerve.

“I was wondering where you went.” Buck stopped moving when he heard Eddie come in.

“Yeah I thought you might want help.” Eddie smiled as he walked over to the closet. 

“Well as someone pointed out,” Eddie said, opening the closet door. “Santa went a little overboard.” Buck looked at all the perfectly wrapped boxes stashed in the closet with a smirk. 

“Santa or you?” Eddie shook his head and Buck raised an eyebrow.

“Most are from me,” Eddie said with a small smile as he grabbed some of the boxes. “But my parents sent some, Pepa and Abuela dropped some off, and there’s some from Carla. And the few that you added in here that you thought I wouldn’t notice.” Buck chuckled as he grabbed some boxes as well. 

“Chris deserves the world,” Buck said as they made their way down to the living room. He placed the gifts under the tree. It was then that he realized Eddie was silent. He looked up to see Eddie watching him. “Eds?”

“You’d give him the world, if you could.” Buck’s mouth dropped open, trying to find the right words to say. “No, that’s a good thing. Because that’s how I feel too.” Eddie put the presents down and crossed to Buck. “You’re amazing Buck. And I mean that all the time, but especially today and yesterday. I mean, you did all this stuff for us.”

“I just wanted you guys to have a great Christmas,” Buck said. “Since you invited me and all.” Eddie smiled at that and Buck felt his heart flutter.

“Buck, you learned how to make my Abuela’s tamales,” Eddie said. “You baked cookies with my kids. You shared your favorite Christmas movie with us. You went above and beyond with all of this and I don’t know if I can ever thank you.” He reached his hand out, taking Buck’s hand in his. “But, I want to try. If you’ll let me.” Buck stared wide-eyed at Eddie. This was supposed to be his moment, to enact the final part of his plan. And instead, Eddie was swooping in and stealing his thunder.

“I had this whole speech,” Buck said. “I was going to do all of these special and important things and then we’d put out the presents and then I’d…” He glanced down at his hand, interlaced with Eddie’s. “But you snuck in and stole the moment.” Eddie chuckled and Buck looked up at him. 

“I don’t think either of us have actually said anything concrete yet,” Eddie said, reaching his free hand up, so he could run his thumb along Buck’s cheek. “You can still have your moment.”

“It’s a stupid speech,” Buck said, his cheeks dusting pink. “Just saying how much I love spending time with you and Christopher and how important you are to me and all that.” Eddie smiled at that, causing Buck to blush harder and duck his head. “And then I had this whole stupid thing about a Christmas present.” Eddie’s hand, which was still resting on his cheek, moved to his chin, tipping Buck’s face up so he had to make eye contact with Eddie.

“Well, what’s my gift?” Buck swallowed as he stared at Eddie, almost too afraid to speak. He wasn’t sure if he could do this, if he could get the words out. “Buck?” But maybe he didn’t need the words. Maybe actions would be better this time. 

So, mustering up all the courage he had left, he closed the distance between himself and Eddie, his lips sealing over Eddie’s, in a tender and slow kiss. It was all he could muster, terrified that there was still a chance that this didn’t go to plan. But then Eddie’s other hand came up to cradle his face and Buck realized Eddie was kissing him back. 

Buck couldn’t help but melt forward, his hands coming to rest at Eddie’s waist, as their bodies pressed flush together. Maybe his plan hadn’t gone exactly as he wanted, but it had worked. Buck felt like he had been in a desert for so long, but this moment, kissing Eddie, this was his oasis in the desert. This was the moment that made it all worth it. 

“I love you,” Buck said, when they finally pulled away. “I love you so much and I just needed to tell you in the perfect way.” Eddie chuckled as he let his forehead rest against Buck’s. 

“I don’t need perfect,” Eddie said with a smile. “I just need you.” Buck sucked in a breath and Eddie smiled. “I love you too.”

“I’ve been waiting so long to hear you say that,” Buck said, before kissing Eddie again. It was a chaste kiss, Buck too overwhelmed with joy and shock to do anything else. He pulled away from Eddie and just stared at him, an adoring look in his eyes. Eddie stared back at him, a soft and sweet look in his eyes. 

“As much as I would like to stand here and do more of that,” Eddie said and Buck blushed a little. “We have more presents to put out.”

“But we are going to do more of that, right?” Eddie scoffed, but there was a playful look on his face. Instead of responding he just grabbed Buck’s arm, tugging him back towards where the presents were hidden. But as they headed down the hallway, Eddie’s fingers interlaced with Buck’s and Buck couldn’t stop the wide grin that crossed his face.

* * *

Buck sighed as his eyes opened. He was a little confused why he was so warm. But then, as he turned his head and realized why, a smile spread across his face. Eddie was pressed against his side, his arms wrapped around Buck’s chest, and one of his legs entangled with Buck’s. 

After their kiss, they had put the presents out and eaten the cookies for Santa. Then, they had basically alternated between talking and kissing until they were both barely able to keep their eyes open.

Buck thought about all the planning he had done. He had talked over how to confess his feelings with Maddie. He had decided that Christmas was the right time. He had spent countless hours talking to Eddie’s Abuela about how to make dinner perfect. And it all had worked, perhaps maybe not as he had planned. But as he laid there, his hand gently running up and down Eddie’s arm, he realized it didn’t matter that things hadn’t gone exactly to plan. Because he had gotten to finally tell Eddie how he felt. And it made his heart soar, knowing that Eddie felt the same way. 

“That feels nice.” Buck glanced down at Eddie, seeing his eyes flutter open. Buck just smiled at his, his hand still on Eddie’s arm. “Morning.”

“Morning.” Eddie smiled, nuzzling a little closer to Buck, his nose brushing against Buck’s neck. “Never pegged you as a cuddler.”

“Well you’re basically a furnace,” Eddie mumbled. “The other night, all I wanted to do was roll over and be close to you. And now that I can…” Buck smiled as Eddie tightened his hold around Buck. 

“You can share my body heat any time.” Eddie snorted at that and Buck chuckled. “Too corny?”

“Corn fields got nothing on you.” Buck chuckled as Eddie tilted his head up. Buck leaned down, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s lips. One of Eddie’s hands came up to cradle Buck’s cheek, deepening the kiss. Eddie then pulled away, a sigh escaping his lips.

“How soon until Christopher gets up?” Buck asked. Eddie was about to say something, but stopped tilting his head towards the door. Buck raised an eyebrow, until he heard the tell-tale clack of Christopher’s crutches. “Now that’s impressive.”

“Part of being a dad,” Eddie said, his head resting on Buck’s shoulder. Buck looked towards the door as it opened slowly, Christopher peeking his head in. His eyes lit up when he saw Buck and he quickly entered the room. 

“Dad! Buck!” Buck smiled and then glanced down at Eddie. Eddie smiled back at Buck before rolling over and getting out of the bed. He quickly scooped the boy up, earning a giggle from Christopher. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas mijo.” Buck just watched the two of them, a smile on his face. After all, he didn’t have to worry about being caught staring or accidentally revealing his feelings. It was all on the table now. “Present time!”

“Yeah!” Eddie set Christopher down and he excitedly led the way out of the room. Eddie started to follow him but then stopped. He turned back, tilting his head when he saw Buck was still sitting in bed. 

“Coming?” Eddie asked, holding out his hand. Buck smiled and nodded, getting out of the bed. He crossed over to Eddie, letting his fingers interlace with Eddie’s. Eddie just smiled at him, before starting to turn to leave the room. 

“Eds?” Eddie turned back to face Buck and Buck closed the distance, kissing him softly. Eddie’s eyes twinkled in a way that made Buck’s heart soar and his smile spread wider. “Thank you for an amazing Christmas.” Eddie smiled adoringly and gently squeezed his hand. 

“I should be thanking you,” Eddie said. “I will, properly, later.” Buck smiled at that, pressing another kiss to Eddie’s lips. 

“Dad! Buck!” Eddie chuckled as he pulled away. 

“But right now we’ve got a nine-year-old who won’t wait much longer to open his presents.” Buck chuckled at that. “Come on.” Eddie tugged on Buck’s hand and Buck followed, a lovesick smile on his face.

His plan had mostly worked. And as he followed after Eddie, their fingers interlaced and a smile on both of their faces, Buck couldn’t have been happier. It had really been an amazing Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> [Scream with me on my Tumblr?](https://doctornineandthreequarters.tumblr.com)


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